Fall from Faith: My Long Journey from Believer to Skeptic

I always find it weird how few people are comfortable being labeled an atheist. I've been in enough conversations with "agnostics" and "spiritualists" where they were right at the shore of atheism, but for whatever reason could not take that final step and openly admit to themselves they didn’t believe. Maybe it’s social pressure that everyone around them believes and they don’t want to be labeled as an outsider, maybe it's fear that there is no greater power keeping everything safe, or that death is truly the end, I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure more people are atheist than will ever admit it. So to do my part, I’ve decided to tell my story of how I went from an all-in Roman Catholic, to Christian, to Spiritual, to Agnostic, and to eventually Atheist.

Apparently I'm Smart

So apparently I’m a pretty clever guy. That’s not just me blowing smoke either, recently I’ve had quite a few people tell me that I’m really smart, and not just my mom. They said I presented an argument they had never heard before, that I was able to help clarify someone else’s point in better words, or just that I made a good point. These remarks always surprise me in conversation, because if I had to honestly describe myself I’d probably say that I’m an idiot. Granted an idiot who listens to a lot of smart people and regurgitates their cleverness, but apparently that’s just called learning.

What’s that old saying? That smart people know how dumb they are, but the actually dumb think themselves geniuses. Maybe that’s my problem. It’s definitely why I barely update this blog anymore (an issue I will get to before the end of this post btw), I feel like everything I want to say has already been said by the smarter people I follow online. So why should I rehash what smarter folk have said already?

Then I was sitting in a bar with my best friend a few weeks ago. We had been bar hopping around the lower east side of Manhattan, and we were fairly deep in our cups. It was the point in our evening where we were drunk enough to lower our walls of our wit and banter and just be emotionally vulnerable with each other. He asked me why I didn’t update my blog anymore, and I told him it was because I didn’t know what to write about. I didn’t have any new or original ideas, and I didn’t want to waste time just copying others. Then he tells me I should have written about an argument I had made to him and another friend about how every generation thinks the ones younger than them are the worst, and that paperback novels were once looked at the same way tablets and social media are now. He had never heard about that before.

It was at that moment when something clicked. Just because I know X, doesn’t mean everyone knows X, and should I not use this not inexpensive platform to spread the word about X if I really find X particularly interesting and/or useful? People are coming here to read my thoughts on things, and very rarely do I not have thoughts on things. So what if random podcast expressed this idea better, or this other think piece article already addresses what’s bugging me about the world? Why shouldn’t I add my two cents to the giant pile of dirty pennies that is our internets?

So once again, I’m planting a flag in the ground and saying listen up world. I’m just as dumb as all these other smart people, but you’ve bothered to come here to hear my dumbness. So screw the idea of “it’s been said before/better/funnier”, it hasn’t been said by this silly dummy yet, and now I’m going to say it! Because I find these things smart, and I think more people need to know about them!

Giving Up

Giving Up

If you have ever had a conversation with me, you probably know I love DragonballZ, and I do mean love. It was one of the big cornerstones of my childhood. It got me interested in the media and culture of Japan. It started my love for long epic stories where everything is always on the line and there is always a bigger badder evil to defeat, but there is also always another level that we can push ourselves to as well.

The Week After

Disclaimer: This blog is about my reaction to the results of the United State's presidential election which occurred roughly one week before this was posted. If you are sick and tired of hearing about this then feel free to skip this blog and I will post something else next week. Also, I would like to note that this blog has not been edited and will most likely come off as unfocused and will most likely have typos. Thank you for bearing with me, and I will see you all next week.

Alien's Eye View

I love sitcoms. Like I really really love sitcoms. When I was very little my dad and I would watch Seinfeld reruns almost every night. So as I grew up I continued to love 30-minute comedies about odd groups of endearing but ultimately unlikeable people who somehow get by despite themselves. So a few months back I was on Netflix flipping through their sitcom library for a new show to binge when I came across an old, but somewhat bizarre, favorite of mine, 3rd Rock From the Sun.

Fear the Blank Page

So originally I was going to write about my trip to DragonCon, the awesome time I had, the people I met, the awesome fez I bought (pic here), all the highlights, but as I sit here on Thursday night not even a full week out from the Con I find myself at a loss of words to really describe what I did there. I currently sit at my desk in my Harlem apartment, staring at the blank screen wondering where to start.

The Con Game

2016 has definitely been a year of firsts for me. Rented a car for the first time, said no to attending a family gathering, finally produced a comic story (link here), lost a friend my age to cancer, and launched my first real website to host my writing (thank you for coming here btw). Plus this is the first year I feel like I am attending enough Conventions to have a "Con Season". Toward the start of the year I attended WinterCon in Brooklyn, and I attended Big Apple Con, but my "Season" really started in August.

Why I Want to be a Writer

Why do I want to be a writer? It’s a question every writer, or even every creative person must ask themselves. It’s a question that is asked several times over the course of a career. It’s even a question that I’ve already answered in a completely separate blog post on an old Wordpress blog I was writing on in college. But I think it’s a good thing to ask yourself repeatedly, and since I’m starting this new website, I wanted to answer this question again here.